So far, 2016 has been very eventful for me. I have been travelling most of the time, attending weddings and doing a lot more other things. My blog was suffering. I knew it. It made me guilty but I just couldn’t find enough time. As expected, my support system, my husband took charge and started pushing me again. He wanted me to give him a dead line. But I just couldn’t find one. And he started rattling about why I wasn’t doing my work, why I wasn’t prioritizing things etc, etc. This usually disturbs me. Because, I never rest. I am working almost all the time. I rarely watch a movie. I never have time to check out my facebook profile. And he is here accusing me of doing nothing. (By all means, I know he means well. He is only trying to push me to do my work. Yeah, you could call it negative motivation).
As usual, I charge up. I list out all the work I do, the food, the floor, the dishes, the laundry, the never ending list of household chores that most women have to deal with. And asked him if he was so concerned why doesn’t he share the workload. After all it is not just my food, my floor, my dishes or my laundry. Then he was like “Oh, so you watched the ad”. I asked him what ad. He asked me to watch the video his sister had shared on her fb walls. That’s when I logged into my fb page after a very long time and watched this video.
The man and the woman live in the same house, eat the same food, have kids together and how does the household chores become the woman’s work. I believe, a woman should never ask the man for his help in doing the chores. In fact, they should share the entire load together, not just laundry. Most men do not realise all the work their wife does. They can’t even say the difference if the house is clean or not. They were never really taught how to do the work nor have they seen their father do the laundry or the dishes. Even the men who value gender equality does not perceive that there is a disparity or have bought into the idea that the household chores are a woman’s work.
Personally, I enjoy cooking when my husband is right there in the kitchen cutting the veggies or simply standing there talking to me. Cooking becomes an errand when I am toiling in the kitchen alone and he is watching his favourite series on the couch. Nobody enjoys the chores and let’s just admit it, all of us are lazy enough. Things will further go downhill once you have kids.
I think, wives should stop bickering and asking your husband for ‘help’. Instead the husbands should step forward and share the work. Each couple should have a healthy discussion on these matters. I am not asking you to make a list of things he or she will do or a 50-50 split, but do the household labour together. Share the load. When I say share the load, it does not just mean cleaning the dishes, the laundry and looking after the kids alone, but also, mowing the lawn, washing the car, shopping the groceries and everything else. Share all the work. Do them together. That wouldn’t just make things easy but you will get to spend a lot of time together which will only nurture your relation. And remember your kids learn by your example, so make sure you set the right example.